Disappointment?

Yesterday was my official monthly weight in, I lost 5 pounds in the month of October and I have to admit, I am a bit disappointed in the results. I’m not upset at the loss, hey 5 pounds gone is never a bad thing, but with as hard as I worked I was really hoping for a bigger loss. Ten pounds I would have been ecstatic with.

I know I shouldn’t be concentrating on the scale as much as other things, but I need to see something to keep me motivated. Some have pointed at the fact that I’m weight training as the cause for the limited weight loss (only 30 pounds in 7 months). I do see a difference in my shoulders when look in the mirror; they are becoming defined a bit, but we have no full length mirrors in house so the chest up is all I can see. The stomach is still my major issue though. I don’t see much improvement at all in that area, although my girlfriend does. Why can’t I see it?

I don’t know, maybe I’m nit picking at myself or maybe I just need to go back to taking measurements. I’m just afraid motivation will start to taper off and I’ll go back to my old habits. Yesterday was a good example. I got off the scale and felt I let myself down. That led to a half ass lazy workout, and eating so much at dinner I felt sick.

Can someone say emotional eating? I guess I still have a ways to go in that area.

Today I obviously feel bad for the binge, no surprise there. I also know that I need to have a great workout today to get me back on track. So why is it I’m sitting here writing a blog post and trying to get motivated, instead of getting ready for the gym? Ugh…I’m really hoping I can turn things around today. I know I’m making some progress, I just look at where I am and I think…man, I am so far away from where I want to be.

I think a lot of this is fear talking. I just bought tickets to go home to see my family for the holidays. I’m really happy seeing that it’s been almost 12 years since I have spent a holiday with them (I’ve been home to visit since, but no holidays), but all I keep thinking about is one thing.

Will I need a seat belt extender when I get on the plane?

Seriously, this is what goes through my head. I have never used one, but there have been times when I just couldn’t get the belt snapped together and should have asked for an extension. Yup, I’m one that pretended to be buckled in when really I wasn’t. I suffer from a bit of social anxiety and the last thing I want is to be the center of attention by asking for the fat belt.

So this month I will be working even harder than last month, all so in early December I can hear one small goal…..”CLICK”.