Thursday, April 28, 2011

Biggest Winner Contest

Last night was my kickoff meeting for a weight loss contest that I signed up for. It’s put on by my city (St. Charles, MO) and it’s sponsored by a few hospitals and businesses. When I first heard about this I jumped at the chance to sign up!

It’s an 8 week challenge and the person with the biggest percent of weight loss will win. I’m not sure what you win yet as they will announce that at the first weigh-in May 9th.  This past fall when they held this contest the prize was a 2 night stay at one of the fancy downtown hotels and a BodyBugg. I really don’t care about the prize though. I just want another challenge, a chance to compete, something to spark the drive.  

The kickoff meeting was OK, although I am a bit skeptical on my blood pressure results. They said my blood pressure was 132/86. This kind of made me mad. Last year before I started this weight loss journey I was eating anything and everything bad for me and not exercising at all. I had my blood pressure and cholesterol checked then and it was 120/80. How in the hell did my blood pressure go up?!! I am eating 50x better than I was eating this time last year, I hit the gym 5 to 6 days a week and I lost close to 50 pounds. Not to mention that I dropped my resting heart rate from the 80’s to the 50’s.

I could feel a panic attack coming on!

The only thing that calmed me down was the 3 ladies standing behind me in line. I overheard one of them say that she has never tested that high with her blood pressure and she gets it checked by her doctor monthly. The other two ladies chimed in and said the same thing. This prompted me to turn around and say mine seemed high also. Now just to be on the safe side I am going to have it checked again very soon, because if I don’t my panic attacks will come back and I haven’t had one in over 6 months. I also do not believe that my blood pressure was that high. If it was that high it was probably from them sticking me 3 freakin’ times in the arm to grab my blood! Oh, and I would also like to point out that the lady who was taking my blood pressure had a name tag on and her position was marketing coordinator. I would have felt better if it was nurse, Doctor or even nursing student.  

Ok….calm down Vin…BREATH!

All ranting aside, I’m sure they wouldn’t have let anyone draw blood or take blood pressure that wasn’t qualified to do so. I was just a bit mad at that point.

It was a pretty cool meeting.  I received my weekly weigh-in location and all the other info I needed to prepare for the start of this.

I really think I have a good shot at winning this. It won’t be easy but I have an awesome support group behind me (all of you)! My biggest challenge will be getting my binging under control. It’s been a bit tough as of late, especially at night but I think I can gain control.

Well, wish me luck. Hopefully by July 1st I will be able to post on here that I am the St. Charles Biggest Winner!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Progress? Should I See It Yet?

Something has been bothering me as of late. I’ve lost 45 pounds so far and I can’t see the difference from my 320 pound self when I look in the mirror. It bothers me because I’m afraid I will never see the difference. I’m worried that even when I am 200 or less that I will still see myself as 320 and that will be a problem.

Now don’t get me wrong. I can tell the difference in my clothes and in my overall fitness level. I know I'm losing weight. I just can’t see the same thing that others say they see in me. I’m not even sure I’m supposed to see a difference in myself with only 45 pounds gone. Maybe I’ll start to see it in another 20 pounds or so. All I know is that when I look down at my belly and look at my face in the mirror, I don’t see a change, and that bothers me a bit. 

I do however love at how my fitness level is progressing. I’m walking long distances, running short distances, and working out more than I ever have in the past 13 years. I feel better (although not great) about my eating habits and I’m sure my blood work is much better as well (I’ll have that checked again in a week or so).

I don’t usually post pictures of myself because I tend to shy away from the camera a lot. I think I need to start doing it more though. I figure I can’t have my followers hold me accountable when they can’t see any progress (or lack thereof). 

The first picture on the top is of me at my heaviest (320 pounds) and the pictures in the bottom right and on left were taken last week at 275 pounds. I wore the same shirt to try and give myself some perspective.
320 pounds August, 2009

275 pounds April, 2011
275 pounds April, 2011
I have a long way to go, but I really believe this time I'm going to hit my goal and keep it off. Hopefully the next set of pictures you'll be able to see a much bigger difference. 

I would also like some feedback from anyone who might have struggled with visually being able to see their weight loss progress in themselves. How did you overcome it or do you still struggle?

Friday, April 8, 2011


Dear Fat Vinny

Stop…just STOP! This past week you’ve given into all the urges, gone to the gym just 3 times and tonight binged your way to making me feel guilty. I need you settle down and go back to letting the skinny me try to come out again. I can’t go back to the way I was. Why do you have to pop up after we just had a great weigh-in? Why are you trying to halt all the progress I have made so far….


This past week I’ve been eating like shit, I’ve been lazy and just a bit depressed overall. Today I didn’t eat breakfast, ate tuna for lunch (150 cals) and then for dinner I was starving! I know that’s wrong and I know what that leads to, but I did it anyway. So what happened after that? For dinner I went out and went crazy on hot wings…I mean crazy! Driving there I knew what I was doing, I thought to myself that I should make a better choice. But fat Vinny was hungry dammit and he was going to have some wings!

Do you know how you’re not supposed to go grocery shopping while hungry? Well the same applies when ordering food apparently. Not only did I order 18 wings, I also ordered mozzarella sticks. I knew all along that it was wrong and I would just regret it after, but I let it happen anyway.  I also know that my stomach can’t handle that much food anymore. My mind however wants to eat like I'm still 320 pounds.

This post is really just for me tonight. I need to write these actions down and be honest with myself that I still can’t be trusted around food. I need to be constantly aware of what I'm eating and write it down. To be honest though, it’s getting tiresome. A year of this is starting to get old and I’m afraid I’m slowly slipping back into my old ways. I’m afraid Fat Vinny is going to win and that 320 I used to be will come back and then some.

Boredom is setting in.

I need to switch things up a bit. The problem is my anxiety keeps me from trying new things. I’d like to take a fitness class, maybe a spin or a core class, but I can’t bring myself to go. I always talk myself out of it. I really need to work on that. The funny thing is, I think my social anxiety comes from being overweight. It’s being overweight that keeps me from trying new things…heh…weird, and a bit disturbing.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new set of choices to make. I’ll wake up feeling bloated and fat from all the salt I took in today and I’ll feel like crap. The good thing is that I know I don’t have to weigh myself for another 3 weeks.  Hopefully I’ll make better choices and Fat Vinny will step aside and let the Fit Me take control again.

Ya know what?

Screw that! The Fit Vinny WILL take control tomorrow! I WILL make better choices and I WON’T feel like crap!

I also realize that this is all just talk and I need to take action. So, I’ll leave you all myself with one of my favorite quotes.

“It comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying."  
- Andy Dufresne (Shawshank Redemption)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Official Monthy Weigh-In and March Wrap Up

This is a few days late, but I rarely blog on the weekends. Anyway…on to this past month’s weigh-in!

I came into March feeling a bit down at February’s weigh-in. I had gained 5 pounds and it was the first gain I had in a long time, so I was feeling it a bit in the motivation category. A 5 pound gain is a big deal to me seeing as I’ve really only been losing 5 pounds a month anyway.

I was determined to have March be different. My goal was to lose 10 pounds to get back on track. I needed to lose that 5 from February and another 5 for March. A 10 pound loss would give me my highest weight loss for a month yet.  I really really needed this to regain some lost motivation and get my head back in the game.

March brought with it a new accomplishment as well. I walked my furthest distance yet…10k! I can’t remember the last time I walked 6.2 miles.  Actually, I’m not even sure I have ever walked 6.2 miles before. I know as a kid (who loved to ride a bike), I rode that far, but walked…I’m not sure.  I even kept up a decent pace too completing it in 1 hour and 40 minutes. I bit below my usually 5k time, but I’m not going to be upset about that.

I also kept a decent diet. Yeah, I cheated a few days, but I only went over my calorie goal 2 days. So all in all I was expecting a good weigh-in come April 1st. Did I get it? Well, my official weight loss for the month of March was…


For those of you not keeping score that is a 9.4 pound loss for the month of March!! I just about hit my 10 pound goal and I am extremely happy. My motivation is high right now and in the past 2 days alone I have walked a total 10.85 miles! WOW, what a way to start off the month. I also just agreed last night to do a 5k race on May 22nd. That will be my first chipped race!

I have a good feeling about April now. I think maybe I can drop another 10 pounds this month and totally start my countdown to the lowest weight I have been at in 14 years (260). That will also be the first goal I had set for myself when I first started this.

I’m not sure who is going to find my blog this week. But if you are reading this and just starting out, or in a rut or plateau and feeling like giving up…there is a quote that is passed around this community from time to time…
“Just keep swimming” –Dora

Weight loss totals:
Starting weight: 320 pounds
February weigh in: 279.4
March weigh in: 284.6
April weigh-in: 275.2
Total loss so far: 44.8 Pounds
Short term goal: 260 pounds (15.2 pounds to go)
Long term goal: 200