Back Again

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It has been over 1 year since my last blog entry.

Wow, over 1 year. A lot has happened since my last blog entry. I was recently inspired by a friend to give this a go again, so let's me sum up the year. 

October of 2011 

I ran my first 10k and was well on my way to hitting my first major weight goal of 260. I was 12 pounds away. After the 10k something something in my head said to stop running and unfortunately I listened. I can't really say for sure what it was. I was stoked after my 10k, I had a good time but I just stopped running. 

Skip ahead to June 2012. 

I had gained back a bit of weight (15 pounds), and knew I needed to get back off my ass and start running again. A friend of mine pushed me and pushed me and finally after a a month getting back into the swing of things, in July I ran my first 7.3 miles pretty much non stop, it was great. I was back on track! 

In August 

I did my first Zombie mud run (as a zombie) and had a great time. I was certainly going to hit my weight goals...so I thought. In December I slowed down again. Just got bored and tired of all this weight loss stuff. The constant tracking of foods, and the calorie counting, etc... I simply gave up. Of course, I wish I hadn't. 

Let's skip to now and the reason I am blogging again. 

I'm back to 30 pounds gained back of my 53 lost. All those pounds I swore I would never let come back on are there again, it's frustrating! Not only that, but clothes are not fitting, I am tired all the time again, and I can feel the old lazies starting to come back. 

This needs to STOP! 

I know the only person who can get me back on track is me. All the people I used to work out with are far above my fitness level now and I'm back to working out alone. I'm missing the people who used to push me all the time. I promised myself I would get back on track.

What am I doing?

I started to eat Primal last week and so far it has been going well. I went a week eating totally clean. Until today that is. I missed breakfast, was really hungry and someone brought in some crappy food....I went to town on it. I feel like crap now of course, but I made great choices the rest of the day. I'll get back on this and drop the pounds again. I just hope I can stick to it this time. 

My ramblings are done for the day. Back to reading more inspirational blogs. :) 

Emotional Eating

If there is one thing I need to learn from all this, it’s how to stop emotional eating. Last week was a rough week in that regard.

  

As some of you who follow me know, I was laid off in March due to a company closure. Now, I really hated my job (I had been in the industry way too long and I was burnt out) so the first two weeks of my lay off were nice. I got stuff done AND I finally started my weight loss journey.  I joined a gym and started this blog.  It’s almost 6 months into this layoff now and I’m starting to get really bored and a bit frustrated. To make matters worse I took this opportunity to try and make a career change, so the job hunting has been rough.

The week before last I had a job interview that if I landed it, would have allowed me to move back home to RI (to be with family) and start a great job in the industry I wanted. I was really looking forward to getting that job so my hopes were a bit too high. Last Tuesday I got the call and I didn’t get picked for the job. They decided to give it to someone who had been previously laid off from the position; I guess I can’t blame them for going with that option.  I know I could get a job back in the industry I was in before, but I was extremely unhappy and grumpy most of time. Do I really want to go back to that?

That day started the plunge. I was 1.2 pounds away from hitting my first goal of being less than 300lbs, and that phone call shot it all to hell. Well…to be honest, I shot it all to hell. I went on a huge emotional eating binge. Not as big as it could have been but a binge none the less. I stopped counting calories, I only went to the gym twice (once being the day before I got the bad news), I didn’t blog and I started eating at night again.  All because I was frustrated and just stopped caring. I tried stopping myself a few times, saying to myself come on make better choices, but in the end I just didn’t care. I was mad, depressed and overwhelmed. By the end of the week I was feeling better but I also gained 3 pounds. Last week I should have hit my goal of 299lbs, but instead I was staring at 304 again.

This week I am back on track. Eating better, hitting the gym hard and overall feeling better. That does not however make up for the fact that I let a depressing situation get to me like that. There are going to be many more times in my life where I will be upset, not feeling up to par, or where something doesn’t go my way. So how do I train myself to not overeat emotionally?

Food plays a major part in your life especially when you are overweight. We use food as a reward, we use it as comfort, we use it to entice. We pretty much use food as way to express or suppress all of our emotions. So how do we stop?

What are some ways that you have coped with emotional eating?

By the end of this week I hope to hit my goal. Then after that I can lay off the scale again for a while until I feel I am close to my next goal of 270lbs. I know the weight will come off slower due to weight training but I shouldn't be putting the pounds on anymore.